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But those who wait on the LORD Shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles,   They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not faint. (Isaiah 40:31  NKJ)

Unless otherwise marked, all Scripture quotations are taken from the World English Bible (WEB - which is in the public domain and is a trademark of Rainbow Missions, Inc) and the Holy Bible, King James Version, Cambridge, 1769     PLEASE CONTACT WEBMASTER FOR BROKEN LINKS  

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4 Healing Rooms

                         -I have a RIGHT to my Pain.

    That's my one downfall. I believed those lies. I felt it, i knew i had a right to it and there was no one on this planet who would disagree with one on THIS planet...but the Lord's kingdom is not here.

     I had 2 pastors tell me i needed to deal with my pride, my HIDDEN pride (focus on self) ...and because of the very reason that i had pride itself, i was unable to truly get at the resolution i needed, unwilling to give up my "right" to HURT. It felt good, i needed it to justify my anger...but i opened the door to the enemy and gave him a LEGAL foothold in my life!

     It's not a way to life. It's not God's desire for me and it really is sin.  I felt terrible and irritated all the time.  I felt this underlying current of unhappiness and the blame seemed to be on others because of the way THEY made me feel.  I felt justified in the wrongs against me, as anyone would...and now I was asked to give that up?  Didn’t God UNDERSTAND what I went through?  Even though I knew that God has compassion and grace for my pain, I wasn't willing to give up the anger because my pain was so huge and nothing seemed to make it better. I could go from 0-60 in nothing flat.

     It usually started with me picking up some offense my husband made (or even finding out AGAIN about what he was still doing on his computer!) and i would let that tool around in my head for a while, trying to work it from every angle or figure out what to do, then angry that i had to even have this cup before me...and with that, at times it got to speaking out against him to someone else, or such depression and then i saw no way was a vicious cycle.

The Enemy wants you dead

   Once i learned about Ephesians 4:31: 31 (Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. ) I found that the enemy dug in further and if i gave ANY ground to anger to him, he had me thinking that death was better than life, within the same day. HE is THAT EVIL! He will do all he can to see that you do not make it into the Kingdom of eternal life!

“looking carefully lest there be any man who falls short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and many be defiled by it;” (Hebrews 12:15)  

    At the hub of all of this is my sin: my sin of judgment; my sin of self-focus; my sin of pride ...but ...i had a right to be hurt, didn't i?!  Again, i know God has a heart of compassion towards my pain but it's not His intent to leave me there because it leads to all this other HOW was i going to get rid of it? He was not going to heal anything as long as i felt i had a right to keep it, as long as i was unwilling to give it up.

“Resolving” the “ME Factor”

  I found that Hidden pride has a million facets and i fell into them DAILY...and i had to "resolve" them daily (...still do-learn the 2 Minute “Quick Cleanse) ...but now i understand that the same blood that got me a seat in Heaven can also wash this away, take away all my iniquities (and this was one for sure!) and make me clean. “CLEAN” is where i wanted to live daily.

Self Esteem leaves no room for “GOD-Esteem”

   The Lord told me that all areas of "self" leave no room for HIM! He said to me "Self-assurance....self-reliance..." "BUT WAIT LORD! Isn't the opposite of Low Self-esteem, HIGH self esteem?! the world says this is good!" i said..."no....the opposite is GOD-esteem, GOD-reliance, GOD-assurance". I got it.

      "Caring for the Heart Ministries" has a section on RESOLVING PRIDE / Hidden pride...and that's been my checklist every day. They also give a prayer for resolving it (much like our 2 Minute “Quick Cleanse) thought that comes in now, i have to immediately take myself through these steps.

The very FIRST “SIN”

    Pride is the first pride exhibited as Lucifer thought he was “all that” and rebelled against God, focused on the recognition he didn’t get and thinking he could do a better job.  Pride etches it’s way into so many areas of our lives that we are not always even aware of it until it’s symptoms are hurting ourselves or someone else. When i started dealing (resolving) my pride, i found MANY MORE FACETS of it and so it's a continual exercise for me to walk through the steps of renouncing it and turning it over to the Lord,  but the FREEDOM IN CHRIST is SO worth it: to give up my "right" to anger....and to have peace and freedom, which i thought i would NEVER have.

Another dies in bitterness of soul, and never tastes of good.  (Job 21:25)

   It's been through the steps that i learned how SUPERNATURALLY POWERFUL the BLOOD of Christ truly is!  I do all renouncing steps this out loud, where the REAL “enemy” lives (see “Recognize The Enemy and Build Your Defense”), and each time I would get deliverance and power into the situations I called the blood into.

Pride leads to many things that will not see the kingdom:

Now the works of the flesh are obvious, which are: adultery, sexual immorality, uncleanness, lust-fulness, idolatry, sorcery, hatred, strife, jealousies, outbursts of anger, rivalries, divisions, heresies, envyings, murders, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these; of which I forewarn you, even as I also forewarned you, that those who practice such things will not inherit the Kingdom of God. (Galatians 5:19-21)   


Feeling sorry for ourselves leads to many things, from bitterness,( the #1 Killing Disease ) to jealousy and if we do not get ride of this “death grip” and renounce it, take back ground we gave the enemy (see 2 minute Quick Cleanse) then we are in danger of not only loosing life down here on earth but not living out eternity with the Father, in the place that He has prepared for those who love him.

Anger ...Pride, no matter how you say it,
      it’s still sin.

     We don’t have to be in bondage to these feelings anymore, we just have to be willing to give it up, serve it up for HIS control.  Our First Crucial Factor to healing is that we have to be willing to give up our pain, and that also means the negative emotions that come with pain. They will DESTROY YOU. Beloved, if the Lord has told us to “put away” or to NOT be this or that, it means that through the power in HIM, we have the POWER TO NOT be this or that.

   Below is a really good checklist and then the “Power Tool” prayer for it. If you ever suffer from the symptoms below, put a mark or write out every one you feel you struggle with...then walk through that prayer OUT LOUD, declare it, for every individual one. It's time to clean house! , copy and paste this into a document and print it out and keep it in your devotional book! Also visit our “Pain Words” section in the “First Aid” Center, to identify hidden negative and destructive feelings and claim victory over them.

focusing on oneself, ones possessions, goals,or achievements.

HIDDEN PRIDE: Focusing on one's inner pain and feelings of rejection leading to an inability to respond to the other's needs.

Desire to be successful apart from God's blessing or direction

Refusal to give up personal rights

Desire to control others

Talking most often about myself when conversing with others

Drawing attention to my abilities or achievements

Feeling sorry for myself
(Self-pity) because I’m not appreciated

Focus on my knowledge and experience

Self-sufficient attitude, excluding God or others

RESOLUTION: "LORD, i acknowledge and renounce my pride as evidenced through my (Categories checked above). I ask Your forgiveness and choose to humble myself and respond with a proper attitude. I take back all ground i gave the enemy through my: ( Name it: bitterness, anger, judgment, NAME IT!) and i yield that ground back to you Lord Jesus! Thank you for your continued love, and i RECEIVE your grace & mercy & forgiveness."

Visit the “Pain Words” section to “pick your poison” and then walk through the steps to deliverance from it.

Other Related Articles:

Not Healed - My Testimony

Hindrances to Healing

Healing Promises

STOP IT!  You know what you’re doing

Resolving Bitterness
The “Magic Key”

#1 Killing Disease Worldwide

4 Healing Rooms

5 Crucial Factors to Healing.

Pain Words - Name it and claim healing over it.

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