But those who wait on the LORD Shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with
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(Isaiah 40:31 NKJ)
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A divorce, like any loss, takes its toll on everyone. Whether you are the spouse
who's lost your partner to cheating or a child struggling with why Daddy moved out,
divorce affects the entire family. Simple prayers — healing prayer for anger at the
ex, prayer for grief of lost marriage, blessing for children of divorce, and thanksgiving
for new life after divorce— offer the believer's pain of a divorce to God.
Melissa M. Roberts is a freelance writer, spiritual director, and teacher. Melissa
has a BA in History from Baker University in Baldwin City, KS, graduate coursework
in Medieval History from the University of Kansas, Lawrence, a Masters in Theological
Study from Virginia Theological Seminary in Alexandria, Va, and nine units Clinical
Pastoral Education, interfaith ministry and relationship training, from the Association
of Clinical Pastoral Education in Peachtree, Georgia.
A former hospital and hospice chaplain, Melissa now teaches meditation, world religions,
history, and violin. She offers stress management workshops, facilitates spiritual
retreats, and offers spiritual direction via phone, email, or in person within an
hour of Parsons, Kansas U.S.A.
A former hospital and hospice chaplain, Melissa now teaches meditation, world religions, history, and violin. She offers stress management workshops, facilitates spiritual retreats, and offers spiritual direction via phone, email, or in person within an hour of Parsons, Kansas U.S.A.
Anger is a natural emotion when a person has been wronged. Whether fueled by
cheating or simply growing apart, divorce can cause deep-seated anger at an ex-husband
or wife because the marriage, a sacred institution, did not last. Sometimes, the
anger about a divorce may seem uncontrollable and overwhelming. The following prayer
offers an example to help a grieving divorcee heal his or her anger and offer it
"God of anger, your Son broke tables at the temple out of anger. I, too, am angry
because [explain reasons for anger, such as ex's nasty email or losing the dog in
the settlement]. Be with me when I want to scream, and hold me when I feel like crying.
Let me share my anger with you, that I may not lash out at others during this divorce,
and grant me hope in You that I may find love again. Amen."
For added support, try imagining God or another beloved person such as a favorite
parent or friend holding you in God's name when you do want to scream or cry, that
you may express the anger surrounding the divorce to someone who deeply cares. On
really bad days, repeat the phrase, "grant me hope in You that I may find love again."
Prayer for Grief of Broken Marriage
Anger and grief are common responses to the loss of a marriage and life together.
The partners themselves, as well as their children, friends, and family will all
grieve the loss of what might have been in their different ways. The following prayer
offers the grief of a broken marriage to God:
"God of life and death, now that my marriage is over, be with me as I create a new
life for myself. I honor and thank you for the good times with [insert name of former
spouse]. Be with me as a rant, grieve, and seek to heal from the nightmare of divorce.
Though I feel alone now that I've lost [insert name of former spouse], remind me
that You will never leave nor forsake me. Grant me new life, that I may journey bravely
through my broken marriage to the next stage of my life in You. Amen."
Caring family or friends concerned about another person experiencing a divorce
might share this or another prayer on the divorcee's behalf. A believer struggling
with divorce and anger at an ex might repeat this prayer while reflecting on different
positive memories of the marriage as part of the grieving process.
Blessing for Children of Divorce
Divorce can be painful and confusing for children caught in the middle of two
parents' separation. The following prayer seeks God's protection and comfort for
children struggling with their parents' divorce:
"God of mercy and love, You asked the little children to come to you. Be with [insert
names of child or children struggling with divorce] as they are caught in a nightmare,
the separation of their parents and their life as they know it. Remind [insert names
of child or children] that You and their parents still love them and that this divorce
is not their fault. Hold [insert names of child or children] close in Your loving
arms, and grant them the light of Your love to weather the dark storms of divorce,
now and always. Amen."
Older children might offer this prayer on their own behalf. If desired, pause
before the prayer's last sentence and share with God all the struggles and hurts
of the divorce.
Thanksgiving for New Life After a Divorce
Healing from a divorce takes time for everyone in the family. Parents must forge
new relationships with each other separate from their marriage, and children learn
to seek support and love from both their parents separately. The following prayer
thanks God for such victories in the healing of a divorce:
"God of power and love, thank you for bringing new life in the midst of divorce.
[Share specific incident of new life, such as a first date post divorce or a child
accepting the parents living apart]. We rejoice that the hell of divorce has ended,
and the process of new loves and relationships has begun. Bless everyone affected
by divorce [share names if desired], that Your healing love may continue to bring
love and life despite this broken marriage in our broken world. Amen."
Divorce affects the marriage partners as well as their children, families, and all
who love them. With prayer, a Christian can seek God's continual support in surviving
and healing a broken marriage.