But those who wait on the LORD Shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with
wings like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not faint.
(Isaiah 40:31 NKJ)
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“The Lord heals, He heals completely and it doesn’t take years. By His power, grace and mercy YOU can find your total healing and freedom in Christ Jesus – sometimes you just need a bit of help. Kim West has a heart to see people delivered and set free and has helped hundreds do so. She has a Master of Divinity and a PhD in Clinical Counseling but, more importantly, she is one who has personally experienced her own healing and freedom from the Lord. She understands what you are going through AND knows how to get you through it in Christ. “
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Pain...lots of it...and no healing?
Oh, Dear Heart, this is a hard one - sometimes the hardest one of all - And is one
area that every fiber of my being wants to cry out at times: “LORD! WHY?!” This
is my stumbling block at times when I am weak and I revert back to the “cares of
man”, start to feel sorry for myself and want answers that make sense to ME, the
HUMAN me. I want answer that makes sense to where I live (earth) and the things
I have to do (MY agenda and schedule) and what is expected of me, or what I BELIEVE
is expected of me.
I even get angry a times, not sure if it's AT God but just angry, and I start
to think that there is a way that I can take control back of my life, away from God
who doesn't SEEM to be doing a very good job because I'm still struggling with health
issues. It's just the hardest place to see Him working...
but that is usually because I’m looking “down”, through the worlds lens, seeing all
I want to do, again and on MY OWN agenda.
Run to Daddy
I am broken and so sick and tired of feeling sick and tired, So I surrender, in prayer,
fasting or spending time with him singing praises for as long as I can. After all,
I'm usually in so much pain that I can't even MOVE, let along breath, so what else
CAN I do? He's got my full attention. I have no control and have to admit once again
that this is an area that I have to LET GO of “control” and surrender.
I cry “UNCLE” and run to Daddy.
The Fog Clears.
And then the fog clears and I can see what my Heavenly Father is doing. Even if
it's not MY will for my life, I can see through HIS eyes and I feel His heart for
me, I see a bigger picture and the Lord gives me peace and grace to “get on His boat”
and agree to go where He’s leading.
I've struggled in pain most of my life with a curved spine, a 45º “S-curve”
to be exact, getting worse with time and pressing on tons of nerves. I didn't know
a time in my life where I wasn't in pain. My 20's were the hardest at all, as I
was trying to fit in with what others my age were doing, but things like sitting
in a movie theater for more than 20 minutes was painful. It's a long story of hopes
and dreams seemingly dashed at times, my inability to keep up with friends, having
to support myself when I was at my worst (I was a graphic designer and art director
in a large city) and wondering if I would loose my job on the days and weeks when
I could barely move.
The Docs fused my spine but I found out later it was not done correctly and with
the wrong “tools” (rod inserted) and I spent more years in pain. I have 2 working
vertebra in my spine and when I gave birth to my daughter Samantha, it was a long
To make a long story short, my daughter also has this curve in her spine, along with
Juvenile Type 1 Diabetes, Asthma, Chronic Urticaria (hives, rashes and painful swelling),
Hashimoto's thyroiditis, Myasthenia Gravis, Dyslexia, and double vision that even
Mayo Clinic can't diagnose (Here she is at the Clinic in 2008).
We both have been through much prayer: in groups, individuals, prayer events and
ministries, and in our hope daily. We're not totally healed but we survive and can
get to the “needs of the day” but we want more...right?
Sorting out the lies
It's extremely draining emotionally whenever you experience a “chronic setback”,
as anyone will share. You mentally keep trying to move forward and then your body
keeps holding you back. All the “SHOULDS” start to peek their face again: I should
be able to get around; I should be able to sit for a while; I should be able to relax;
I should be able to work; I should be able to get chores done; I should be able to
have fun; I should be able to live a life without pain...etc.
It can be a little like someone continually hitting you. Those of you with
Chronic pain can identify with the debilitating feeling you get from not being able
to do physically what your mind wants to do. It is really hard to not feel sorry
for yourself when you are in physical pain! It will wear you down and there are
times you do not want to get out of bead. There are times you want to cry and all
you can see is how to get through the next minute. I DO know what you are going through!
I SO know!
“In the Midst”
It's also hard to not feel abandoned by God when you are sitting next to your
child in the hospital Emergency room who is struggling to breath. You've just spent
over 30 years dealing with your own pain and how to lean on the Lord for that and
whamo, you're faced with a young life that is attacked physically in more ways than
you can imagine.
I have learned that I would rather be at peace (the LORD'S peace, not my own)
and in His Joy during great trials...than be miserable during happy times (as a lot
of people are). That peace that transcends all understanding is worth any price
and it's all ours for the taking. As I've said in “When We Are Not Healed”, His ways
are not our own and so the only place to breath, the only place to survive, is at
“Supernatural circumstances require supernatural Faith, and you would not BELIEVE
what I have in store for you even if I TOLD you”, I heard the Lord say one day. So
I started a season of learning how to godeeper into His presence.And the Lord met
me. I have to FIGHT to stay there because I am always under some kind of attack but
I have “peace in the midst' most times, have stopped fighting what He is obviously
allowing in my life and see where HE is moving a lot of the time.
No one else will understand.
I had an elderly friend who said that “people just can't understand what another
is gong through until they have walked a mile in your shoes, and even then...”, yup,
I forgot the rest but I have learned that it's not good to expect people to really
know what you're doing through.
In truth, you can put too much burden on another who is not equipped to carry
such a huge burden. While we're told to “bear one another's burdens” (Galatians
6:2), the true solution is going to God in ALL things. That's where the power is.
Humans will disappoint us and our expectations are too great for human frailty.
You need Supernatural peace, supernatural power, supernatural love, supernatural
strength, supernatural wisdom and that comes ONLY from one source!
We still struggle daily. We fight to seek His peace, joy and presence. With
all my daughter is going through physically, she's gone through the breakup of her
family, a remarriage, a move across the country and then aside from medical conditions,
the inability to do what she wants to do like find a job. We fight to stay at the
throne and find that supernatural place of living.
If I look down, if I take my eyes off of Christ, I am bombarded with fears on
how she can possibly get healthy enough to make it through a semester at the art
school she's planning on attending next fall. It rises up to choke me and no matter
how much I pray, I am still faced with some realities, like, well ...GETTING HER
HEALTHY ENOUGH! She will be 12 hours drive away from me and there will be no one
to look after her.
I can't see the Lord's plan in that. I can see it now in that it's His desire
to KEEP standing on healing, keep praying together daily, keep trusting Him and keep
claiming “I TRUST IN YOU LORD...NO MATTER WHAT”, getting into His word / truth and
claiming that for our life's. All I was given was today!
You do not have “tomorrow”.
Would I change things? HECK YEAH! WHO WANTS to go through all of this? I do
see though: the Lord's Face, His hands, His constant guiding, the peace that I get
when I ask. ALL that has gone on has been a tool of God working compassion and mercy
into my character and as precious as that is, it's still hard to move forward at
times so I need HIS strength to do that.
I tell people all the time that we do NOT have tomorrow. It is not owed to us.
I know there is scripture that talks about being given long life, many days, etc...but
in reality we could be taken up at any time. Living as if we have time to waste
is just foolish. MOST people do not value every day as their last.
I know the scriptures God’s Word has for healing and I am choosing to stand on
those (read When we are not healed). God healed me but not in the way that I often
have dreamt. It's a different kind of healing, in finding that His grace is sufficient
for all of my needs and that His presence is more than enough...for what He wants
me to do. Maybe I was not “usable” in that healed state that we all want? Whatever
it is, it's ok and I am blessed. I am doing much better physically and can get to
all that I needto do. I try to remember days when the pain was so great that I had
to crawl to the bathroom. I remember pain so great in my neck that I could not lift
my head off of the pillow in the morning. I will continue to praise Him because HE
IS WORTHY...and His plans for me are always better than my own.
For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says Yahweh, thoughts of peace,
and not of evil, to give you hope in your latter end. (Jeremiah 29:11)
I call on Yahweh, who is worthy to be praised; and I am saved from my enemies. (Psalm
Dig in deeper into His presence. You will find ALL things there. Claim His word
(go to Healing Scriptures and find what speaks to your heart and claim them out loud).
Go through the 5 Crucial Factors of Healing and float through the 4 Healing rooms,
continuing in this “season of restoration” to see all that He has for you.
Though my daughter cannot always see it, the Lord has blessed her throughout her
life with gifts that help me see that He will lead her through the future. He has
given her a creative talent that has inspired her to create 4 businesses since the
age of 6 when she started selling painted rocks (painted with my nail polish) as
garden rocks to anyone who would look inside the box she carried everywhere.
She then determined one day at the beauty parlor, that if people paid .75 cents for
a candy bar, they would surely pay .65 if she created such a candy box at her father’s
business. She created such, learning about profit and loss, until the conviction
about selling sugar to others, as a diabetic herself, got the best of her.
She then asked a friend (who had a gift shop) how much she would charge her to put
her jewelry in her shop. Knowing she had no jewelry confused me but Sam created
a line of jewelry, leading her into fine jewelry after getting an order at a fine
Jewelry store from just one week of showing her “stuff”. From there she went into
making medical bracelets and helping other young woman create something they would
be proud to wear verses the unattractive medical ID’s that are available.
This lead her to working with Divabetic.org and serving alongside Just My Size woman
of the year: Ford Model Catherine Schueller. She modeled, led exercise routines
and sold her jewelry, giving the proceeds to the Diabetics education foundation.
She also met with state representatives to campaign for diabetes education, selling
one of her medical bracelets to a State Senator.
Prayer Request: After loosing our home and most of what we own, all our finances with the medical costs, we’re praying for the funds to get Sam through School in what loans won’t cover. We’re in need of prayer for healing in a major way. Most of the time she’s so sick that she could not go to school or work full time if she wanted to. The doctors have told us that “modern medicine has basically failed her” and we rely on homeopathic remedies to help her, which are expensive. We want to see healing on a daily basis to KEEP her in school. (She’s been homeschooled most of her life and has not had health enough to sustain any daily schedule). She’ll be 7 hours away from any friend or family and with no one to look after her, we’re placing her in the Lord’s hands. Please ad her to your prayer list! To HIS glory, in the name of Jesus, Amen.
Sam is now in photography where she has shot senior portraits since the age of 15 and plans on going into Fashion Photography this fall (2011), God willing.