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    In Western cultures it is not common to hold a ceremony or openly acknowledge the loss of a baby through miscarriage. This can often result in women and their partners grieving in silence and wondering whether the pregnancy ever existed. For many couples it is important to acknowledge their loss.  Below are 5 suggestions on ways in which you can farewell your miscarried baby.



Farewelling a Baby Lost
                       through Miscarriage
Melissa Roberts
Chaplain, Author,
Teacher,Speaker

  Please feel free to contact Melissa if you have prayer requests, need more information or need guidance in the area of grief that you can’t find help for.Read More prayers & articles from Melissa Roberts at Suite 101


Contact Melissa

The Everything Guide to Stress Management: Step-by-step advice for eliminating stress and living a happy, healthy life (Everything Series)
Melissa Roberts
Chaplain, Author,
Teacher,Speaker
Check out Melissa’s book:

Melissa M. Roberts is a freelance writer, spiritual director, and teacher. Melissa has a BA in History from Baker University in Baldwin City, KS, graduate coursework in Medieval History from the University of Kansas, Lawrence, a Masters in Theological Study from Virginia Theological Seminary in Alexandria, Va, and nine units Clinical Pastoral Education, interfaith ministry and relationship training, from the Association of Clinical Pastoral Education in Peachtree, Georgia.

A former hospital and hospice chaplain, Melissa now teaches meditation, world religions, history, and violin. She offers stress management workshops, facilitates spiritual retreats, and offers spiritual direction via phone, email, or in person within an hour of Parsons, Kansas U.S.A.


A former hospital and hospice chaplain, Melissa now teaches meditation, world religions, history, and violin. She offers stress management workshops, facilitates spiritual retreats, and offers spiritual direction via phone, email, or in person within an hour of Parsons, Kansas U.S.A.
Other Related Articles:

Note from Editor on Loss

How to Grieve a Loss

Prayers- Loss of a child

Prayers - Loss of a Baby

Prayers for an Absent Mother

Prayers for Grief &  Loss

Pain Words - Name it and claim healing over it.

A Japanese Memorial


    In Japan the loss of a baby through miscarriage is acknowledged by a ceremony. The baby is called "mizuko" or "water child" and a ritual by the mother helps the baby find another pathway into being. The mother places a statue of offering in a sacred place as a spiritual acknowledgment of her lost child.


    For those couples that have experienced miscarriage the road to healing is often long. The journey is a very personal one, taking them down a dark and winding road of emotional and physical pain. Going through the process of expressing and exploring their feelings, moving the pain into some sort of acceptance and finally dealing with the decision of trying to fall pregnant again is a long and exhausting battle.



Saying Goodbye to a Lost Baby


    Farewelling a baby lost through miscarriage is a very personal and heart breaking journey. Here are 5 things that you and your partner may consider when deciding to farewell your precious baby.


Planting a Tree

  

     Planting a tree or creating a special garden space can be a lovely, and natural way, to farewell your baby. Consider a Bonsai as these plants can be an expression of your entire life, not just a snapshot of the pain of losing your baby, and more importantly you can take the Bonsai with you as you continue your journey through life. The memory of that precious soul lost will live on through the beauty of your Bonsai.


Memorial Service


    Holding a memorial service is a way in which family and intimate friends can share in your loss and contribute to the memory of your baby. You may choose to conduct an informal service yourself, or have a celebrant or Minister of Religion conduct a more formal service. Pick a place that is special to you and your partner, and where you can leave a small memento of the service. You may choose to unveil a plaque, plant a tree or return to the earth a small piece of your lost baby.


Book of Remembrance

This is a simple but poignant way to say farewell to a baby that died before you had the chance to say hello. Purchase a beautiful book and have family and friends write messages to you, your partner and your lost baby. Realise those unfulfilled dreams through the love and concern of your family and friends.


Memory Box


    A memory box can be as elaborate or as simple as you choose, and hold as many memories as you wish to include. Some of the things that you may include are the confirmation results of your pregnancy, your pregnancy record card, ultrasound pictures, a list of potential baby names, any gifts that had been received and the condolences sent at the loss of your precious one. You may also choose to include a special memento such as a teddy bear or coin of remembrance.


Blessing


    Similar to the Japanese "mizuko" ceremony you may choose to perform a blessing or say a prayer for your lost baby. Again, you may choose to write your own blessing or a celebrant or Minister of Religion will be able to offer suggestions for prayers. Following the blessing or the reading of the prayer, release white balloons into the sky to help carry the spirit of your baby towards heaven.


Don't be afraid to acknowledge your loss. Even though you will never meet your precious baby he or she has changed your life forever, and left an imprint on your heart.